{"product_id":"the-goat-in-the-bedroom","title":"The Goat In The Bedroom","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen your love life stinks and you're clearly the worst at choosing someone who won't break your heart, why not ask your best friend to find you a date?\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnless of course…you're in love with her.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eI've been friends with Artemis since high school, when we bonded over crushing on the same guy. Six years later, we’re roommates in our shiny new post college lives—she's training for the Olympics while I start my pro football career. We’ve both recently had bad break-ups and she says if she’s going to get back out there, she needs dating lessons. Naturally, she asks me—her completely platonic roommate—to teach her.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe practice eye contact. Hand holding. Cuddling during movies. Because that's what best friends do, right? Practice intimacy? For science?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eShe thinks I'm being helpful. I think I'm losing my mind.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMeanwhile, I'm out here sabotaging her dates, getting jealous of my own teammates, and having heart-to-hearts with our pet goats about my feelings while she's literally in the next room.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBut we're definitely just friends.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe evidence we might be idiots:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe documentary crew filming my rookie season knows.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOur pet goats know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEveryone knows. EVERYONE.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe only people who don't know? Us.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"KMChaosBookReads Indie Book Shop","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47721980428477,"sku":null,"price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0752\/7461\/7021\/files\/2718C2CC-A66C-4C6A-8CBF-F020A43D6D98.jpg?v=1784767670","url":"https:\/\/kmchaosbookreads.com\/products\/the-goat-in-the-bedroom","provider":"KMChaosBookReads Indie Book Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}